Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Those "Other" Beached Whales

The other day, in a not very rare moment of snarkdom, Señor Gatito Gringo pointed out a rather flabby, flaccid and pasty individual on the beach at Catalan Bay and mumbled to me, "Look! A beached whale." After I averted my eyes from the blinding glare, I put on my sunglasses and saw that Señor G.G. was in fact correct. Flabby, flaccid and pasty, he was spread out on the sand for all to recoil in horror admire, soaking up every degree of the day's soaring temperature.

He was not a pretty sight.

Now, I have a certain amount of sympathy for the Beached Whales (BW's) we see shored up along Andalucía's coastline - although I do wish that those BW's whose body mass index exceeds 25 kg/m2 would refrain from sunbathing topless or strutting about in speedos. There is enough gratuitous evil in this world as it is. Like me, many of these BW's are escaping winter or winter-like climes and just want to experience more than 6 hours of sunlight a day and feel the sun penetrating their skins. After all, that's why I came to Spain. And after all, that's why I left Madrid for the Costa de la Luz.

But the reality is that these BW's - many of whom have snatched up relatively cheap real estate in the south - have become a bit of a
liability on the Spanish health care system. These "residential tourists", as they are now called, account for 33% of the skin cancer operations conducted in the Costa del Sol alone. Mostly Brits and Germans, they are more prone to the sun's harmful rays because of their age, lifestyle and their natural fair skins (i.e., flabby, flaccid and pasty) and a natural propensity for eating sausage. (I lied about the last one - that would be colorectal cancer).

Truth be told, I am a wee bit jealous. I don't wish myself skin cancer of course (because I don't)but I often wonder what it would be like to enjoy the BW-lifestyle: owning a fabulous townhouse or villa unaffordable back home, being able to draw on your pensions far removed from any snowblowers or salt trucks, lying on the beach or on one's private terrace all day until you have to meet other BW-expats at the club for drinks, a few rounds of golf, having jars of marmite flown into Spain, never having to learn the native language ...

Of course the downside includes looking like a veritable beached whale until one develops that orangey-yellow crusty hide that passes for a "healthy" tan among BW-expats. And incurring the resentment of the locals who can't possibly afford the homes they're building at break-neck speed. And incurring the resentment of the locals because the extent of one's Spanish is hola and gracias. And incurring the resentment of the locals for having driven up the cost of health care because you have developed skin cancer.

Perhaps there's a happy medium in all of this. If I promise not to microwave myself so that I look like a desiccated tangerine, promise to work on my Spanish (I already have a vocabulary of plus 2 words), and forego the membership at the marina, can I have the townhouse?

5 comments:

ninest123 said...

ninest123 16.03
ray ban sunglasses, michael kors outlet, ray ban sunglasses, gucci outlet, nike free, longchamp, cheap oakley sunglasses, uggs on sale, tiffany and co, prada outlet, jordan shoes, michael kors outlet, michael kors outlet, ray ban sunglasses, oakley sunglasses, ugg boots, prada handbags, oakley sunglasses, chanel handbags, burberry outlet online, tory burch outlet, tiffany jewelry, louis vuitton outlet, christian louboutin outlet, nike outlet, louis vuitton, polo ralph lauren outlet, michael kors, louboutin, oakley sunglasses, longchamp outlet, polo ralph lauren outlet, burberry, louboutin shoes, replica watches, louis vuitton, ugg boots, michael kors outlet, oakley sunglasses, louis vuitton, louis vuitton outlet, replica watches, nike air max, nike air max, longchamp outlet, louboutin outlet, michael kors outlet, ugg boots, ugg boots

ninest123 said...

ray ban uk, hogan, air force, nike roshe run, kate spade handbags, hermes, michael kors, mulberry, true religion jeans, lululemon, sac guess, abercrombie and fitch, air jordan pas cher, longchamp pas cher, burberry, coach purses, michael kors, nike air max, true religion outlet, michael kors, sac longchamp, nike free, oakley pas cher, nike blazer, hollister, new balance pas cher, ralph lauren uk, true religion jeans, nike air max, north face, vanessa bruno, converse pas cher, air max, coach outlet, louboutin pas cher, tn pas cher, kate spade outlet, north face, nike free run uk, coach outlet, true religion jeans, lacoste pas cher, nike air max, ralph lauren pas cher, michael kors, hollister pas cher, vans pas cher, replica handbags, ray ban pas cher, timberland

ninest123 said...

nike air max, wedding dresses, babyliss, ipad cases, new balance, p90x workout, valentino shoes, vans shoes, iphone cases, iphone 6 cases, ferragamo shoes, north face outlet, iphone 6s plus cases, mcm handbags, nike trainers, hollister, instyler, longchamp, iphone 5s cases, nfl jerseys, oakley, louboutin, birkin bag, iphone 6 plus cases, nike roshe, abercrombie and fitch, nike roshe, soccer shoes, mont blanc, beats by dre, chi flat iron, celine handbags, ghd, mac cosmetics, soccer jerseys, herve leger, asics running shoes, iphone 6s cases, bottega veneta, nike huarache, s5 cases, baseball bats, hollister, hollister, giuseppe zanotti, reebok shoes, ralph lauren, jimmy choo shoes, timberland boots, insanity workout, north face outlet, lululemon

ninest123 said...

ugg,ugg australia,ugg italia, moncler, moncler, converse, swarovski, marc jacobs, louis vuitton, juicy couture outlet, sac louis vuitton pas cher, hollister, canada goose, wedding dresses, coach outlet, canada goose outlet, pandora jewelry, canada goose, toms shoes, moncler, canada goose outlet, juicy couture outlet, links of london, pandora charms, pandora jewelry, moncler, barbour jackets, moncler, ugg,uggs,uggs canada, ray ban, canada goose, lancel, gucci, replica watches, doudoune canada goose, bottes ugg, converse outlet, swarovski crystal, thomas sabo, louis vuitton, moncler, ugg boots uk, canada goose uk, supra shoes, moncler outlet, louis vuitton, pandora charms, karen millen, montre pas cher, ugg pas cher, canada goose, moncler, barbour, louis vuitton
ninest123 16.03

chenmeinv0 said...

coach factory outlet
hollister clothing
uggs outlet
ralph lauren
coach outlet online
cheap oakley sunglasses
ugg slippers on sale
cheap oakley sunglasses
canada goose sale
uggs clearance
chenyingying20161202