Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Dial "Z" (or Th) or "R" (Rrrrrrrr) for Election

My mother frequently complains that the only thing on CNN - one of the few English-language television channels she receives at her "winter residence" here in Spain - is coverage of the US election. As annoying as that may be - our only English-language television channel is from Gibraltar which despite the fact that it's about 1000 metres from our home has crap transmission - one has to concede that it is a rather important election. But the US isn't the only country in a state of electoral flux: Spain too is facing a national election in about 2 weeks. An election which has put the country on a high terrorist alert. Yeah!

The contenders: José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero (or Thapatero), Spain's current Prime Minister and leader of the socialist party (The Left) and Mariano Rajoy (Rrrrrrrrrahoy), pinhead and leader of the Partido Popular (The Right). Not that these are the only 2 political parties in Spain - they are just the 2 political parties deemed worthy enough to participate in this debate. Undoubtedly Gaspar Llamazares, leader of the IU left wing, is a little miffed these days.

Rodríguez Zapatero (Thapatero) is most notable for a prodigious pair of eyebrows which appear to be on the verge of taking flight from his forehead. He was elected 4 years ago on a wave of governmental mistrust after the PP bungled the investigation of the May 4th Madrid train bombings in which they blamed the ETA rather than Moroccan-al Qaida operatives. Rajoy (Rrrrrrrrrahoy) is a dead ringer for everyone's high school biology teacher (a negative in my books), and is notable for disliking people who are not Spanish yet choose to live in Spain and speak their own languages, and people who like to do the nasty with members of the same sex.

The election campaign officially began last Thursday, in spite of the fact that both parties had been vigorously campaigning - complete with billboards and signage everywhere - for the past 7 or 8 weeks. Last night, for the first time in 15 years, some 12 million Spaniards watched both party leaders drop their gloves of courtesy in a televised debate. In fact, this historic debate proved to be the 4th most viewed show in Spanish history, following closely on the heels of the 2002 Eurovision Song Contest and Real Madrid winning their 7th European Cup. Just so you know where Spanish priorities lie ...

Señor Gato Gringo and I tuned in to watch the mudslinging (you're a liar! no you're a liar!) but because we could, at best, understand 5% of what was actually being said, we watched for about 15 minutes before calling it a day. But 15 minutes was more than ample time. This is what we observed:

1) Mr. Rajoy (Rrrrrrrrrahoy) never blinks. In the 15 minutes we watched, the man didn't blink once. Not once. It was singularly creepy. Mr. Rodríguez Zapatero (Thapatero), on the other hand, made ample use of his blinking reflex. How can you trust a man who has no physiological need to blink?

2) Mr. Rajoy (Rrrrrrrrrahoy) didn't button the jacket of his suit. I'm sorry, but this was a formal affair - the first freaking televised debate in 15 years. How can you trust a man who couldn't be bothered to button his jacket? He also has bad taste in suits. How can you trust a man whose colour palette is grey, blue-grey, and blueish-blue grey?

3) Mr. Rajoy (Rrrrrrrrrahoy) used cardboard charts to illustrate his points. These were worthy of a grade 5 student before the advent of personal computers. Mr. Rodríguez Zapatero (Thapatero) just raised one of his prodigious eyebrows at these. How can you trust a man who couldn't be bothered to learn how to use a personal computer?

Ergo, based on our close and careful scrutiny, Mr. Rodríguez Zapatero (Thapatero) clearly won the debate. Most polls agree as well. Unfortunately, we missed - or possibly heard but just didn't understand - the following gem:

"Rajoy
(Rrrrrrrrrahoy) called on Zapatero (Thapatero) to control immigration, and Zapatero pulled out documents to show that under the previous PP administration an immigrant obtained his papers by giving a bus pass as proof of residence."

A bus pass! How rich!

The truth is, should Mr. Rajoy
(Rrrrrrrrrahoy) win the election, life for immigrants will become a wee bit harder. He has actively flogged a campaign promise in which all non-EU immigrants (i.e., swarthy people) will be compelled to sign a "Contract of Integration" which includes learning Spanish and undertaking "to adapt to Spanish customs". Where that leaves illegal immigrants is anyone's guess. As an individual who enjoys an "independent" immigrant status, such changes could spell trouble for me.

In a nutshell, should Mr. Rajoy
(Rrrrrrrrrahoy) win the election on March 9th rather than Mr. Rodríguez Zapatero (Thapatero), it is highly likely that this blog will be relocated and renamed to 타이페이안에 고양이 (Cat in Taipei) or possibly кот в kiev (Cat in Kiev).

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Rhhhhhhhoooyyy scares me.

Annabellie said...

Are Zapatero's followers called Zapatistas? Just wondering...

La Gatita Gringa said...

Better than Zapaterroristas.

Anonymous said...

I really think that Zapatero will win the election. How could anyone vote for the crazy Rajoy man??

Anonymous said...

Hi !.
You may , perhaps curious to know how one can collect a huge starting capital .
There is no need to invest much at first. You may begin earning with as small sum of money as 20-100 dollars.

AimTrust is what you haven`t ever dreamt of such a chance to become rich
AimTrust represents an offshore structure with advanced asset management technologies in production and delivery of pipes for oil and gas.

It is based in Panama with affiliates everywhere: In USA, Canada, Cyprus.
Do you want to become a happy investor?
That`s your chance That`s what you really need!

I feel good, I started to get real money with the help of this company,
and I invite you to do the same. It`s all about how to select a proper companion utilizes your money in a right way - that`s AimTrust!.
I make 2G daily, and my first deposit was 1 grand only!
It`s easy to join , just click this link http://lupicaqud.maddsites.com/wykivux.html
and lucky you`re! Let`s take this option together to become rich

Anonymous said...

tomatis ebook http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/Dorothy-Latham/m31427/ the juliet club ebook [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/it/Hormonal-Balance-Understanding-Hormones-Weight-and-Your-Metabolism/p171848/]ebook ingenieria[/url] pilgrims progress ebook

Anonymous said...

president book of secret ebook http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/de/Photonic-crystals-molding-the-flow-of-light/p153161/ reconciliation bhutto ebook ipmart [url=http://audiobookscollection.co.uk/it/I-ll-Be-The-Parent-You-Be-The-Child-Encourage-Excellence-Set-Limits-And-Lighten-Up/p160323/]ebook catolge[/url] ebook master resale right

Anonymous said...

blue tooth software downlkoad http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/fr/product-36810/CSoftLab-C-Organizer-Professional-4-5 palm reader software [url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/fr/product-16762/UltimateDefrag-2008-2-0]adjust music trial software[/url] dvd rw campatible burning software
[url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/category-100-108/Office-Tools?page=3]Office Tools - Software Store[/url] wise trade software
[url=http://buysoftwareonline.co.uk/de/category-100-112/Multimedia-and-Unterhaltung?page=5][img]http://buyoem.co.uk/image/6.gif[/img][/url]

Anonymous said...

bisexual dating ohio http://loveepicentre.com/ aarp online dating
dallas texas dating [url=http://loveepicentre.com/articles/]sample profile online dating[/url] nicole co and james tan dating
interraical online dating [url=http://loveepicentre.com/faq/]bahai dating sites[/url] dating the taurus man [url=http://loveepicentre.com/user/dropaline2009/]dropaline2009[/url] free local russian girls dating

chenmeinv0 said...

canada goose jackets
louis vuitton handbags
christian louboutin shoes
polo ralph lauren
nike roshe run pas cher
cheap oakley sunglasses
gucci outlet store
louis vuitton
nba jerseys cheap
ray ban sunglasses outlet
chenyingying20161202